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In many ways last year was easier than this past month of January for me.
After all I had a goal.
I had inner direction.
My heart told me that the goal was to release,clear and let go of anything that did not serve the highest good.
And I had a deadline.
December 21st,2012.
I understand deadlines.
Was always very good at meeting them.
Tell me what needs to happen,what I need to do, give me direction and I am gone.
And so it was that December 21st came and went, and for me my whole world changed as I experienced a deeper,stronger,more expansive connection with my Source.
So the deadline helped me to reach for something,helped me to keep going,gave me something to aim for.
I accepted the emotional releases, and everything else, because I had a purpose...
But now?
I no longer have a carrot guiding me as I move forward into this uncharted spiritual territory.
The energies have been intense.
When emotional releases occur...they are a doozy.
And my body is also taking an energetic beating...
Had a crazy virus going on, my throat,my head,my lungs, which is now finally better...
(I feel this was a release of dormant illness within me that the energies released)
And the headaches have intensified hugely, often so debilitating that I lose a day...
(I feel that this has to do with my pineal gland and changes occurring in my brain)
I am goofy as can be.
I forget things so easily.
Got no sense of time.
Find myself looking at a world that looks the same...but feels so different.
Like an overlay of energies on top of what I see,as if things are not quite real.
I completely stopped remembering my dreams, almost feeling like at night I go into the void and no dreaming occurs.
Nausea comes and goes and my eating habits are plain weird.
Am I here?
Am I there?
So after last year, this month has kicked my butt.
And it can be so easy to question myself...for I no longer have a finish line to conquer, a race to finish.
A reason to do.
So now for me the main question is "Now what?"
I feel that last year was the year to balance the energies of the earth.
So much fear was attached to the 21st of December that it needed to be balanced with love so that the end of the world scenario did not manifest.
So that the shift could occur for the highest good of all in a non-destructive manner.
And I feel this was all accomplished beautifully.
We are still here.
And now I need to walk my path.
I need to set my own goal, for myself, guided from within.
This can be hard,because all my life I have had goals, something to DO.
Outside influences dictated how I lived my life.
And now I just need to BE.
Big difference for me.
The difference between doing and being.
So while I feel last year was for the earth,this time is for me.
For as I become more connected, as I remember more, then that is when I can be the change I want to see in the world.
I can live my life in the Light.
Help the beautiful souls around me who are awakening.
And I see it, this awakening all around me, and it brings such joy to my heart.
With no rush.
With no deadlines.
With not expectations.
With no judgement.
And this is my new carrot.
My wish to continue to remember, to become who I really am.
And I have to admit that I am looking forward to seeing all the change I feel is happening within me.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Spiritually.
In every way possible.
And I am perfectly okay with that.
So now many seem to be in uncharted spiritual territory as well as myself.
Feeling lost.
With no direction.
Like a rolling stone...(woke up this morning with the Bob Dylan song playing in my head LOL)
But it will sort itself out.
Things always do.
And on those day when it gets hard, I reach out to my Source and I connect with nature.
I baby myself and I remind myself that I am not just a body.
That I am so much more.
And that I am finally free to just be me.
And that I am not alone, never was,never will be.
Thank you my beautiful family for going through this with me, as we all explore this amazing new world filled with Light.
Together.
Shine On
In Light and Love
marie
Comments
Thanks for sharing :)
Hi Marie
As Indra has said, and from the many posts coming into my FB feed, all these emotions you describe are very common; the old thoughts, emotions etc are being cleared away, like a broom sweeping clean. Also, once that date passed, many people had focused so much on that date and expected an immediate transformation.
It can be likened to the dark night of the soul, but with a sunnier disposition compared to what the mystics of old went through. As our energies shift upwards, become more refined, there will bound to be many different feeliings and emotions which have been hidden, but which are rushing forward for our increased spiritual journey ahead.
Pat
Very good Marie, you seem to have hit the nail on the head. I have been feeling many of the same things. What can we do? Patience is certainly one of the more difficult virtues and not my strong point. Shining from our Heart like the Sun is the only real task. Much like the Sun, doing this will garner little support and no recognition. We have been told repeatedly that it is not easy; so we gear up for a fight. However, this is not a fight it is remembering the same thing over and over. The reward is in the shining. No one is standing ready with a reward or a medal of some sort. Either that or fall back into your human conditioning and think the same thoughts and feel the same nostalgia as most everyone around you. Change is like water slowly getting warmer or pain slowly disappearing...it is hard to see it happening. We are not lost so much as the constructs of the old world and way of doing things no longer seems real. Are we contained by the world? Or do we contain it? I feel peace comes with believing the answer. It seems that way to me for now.