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I have been cleaning up the mess left over from the life I am no longer living.
A life that I know is no longer for me,back in another state...
The life before my awakening.
A year and a half ago I was standing in my kitchen when I felt the Light go through me and experienced a spontaneous spiritual awakening.
I instantly became a completely different person.
My life as I knew it ended on that day.

In the two years before that day, I was hearing things, feeling things, seeing things, having visions and having tons of prophetic dreams.
I was experiencing heart palpitations and night sweats and my head was tingling and itching like crazy.
I had all kinds of constant, crazy physical symptoms.
I would go to the doctor but they couldn't really explain it...
I was having spiritual awakening symptoms that I had no idea existed, for I was deep asleep.
I thought I was going crazy.
Lost the house, the 18 year marriage and the businesses all within that time too.
Went into my dark night.
Became a hermit.
Found my Heart,my Self and my Source.

Not only was my life an emotional mess but a physical mess as well.
For my old life was about acquiring things.
I was an excellent disposable consumer.
And I helped others in that consumption, by owning high end fashion boutiques(can you say spend,spend,spend...)
I have done my share of polluting this beautiful world while asleep with all the crap I bought and threw away without a thought to disposing of it and the environment...
Looking outside of myself for things and people that would fill the hole within my heart which I did not understand.
Always that aching within, that searching for I did not know what.
Always felt like I was missing something really important...but no clue what it was.

Today I stand at the beginning of my new life.
Amazing synchronicities and miracles have taken me to another state where I have been called by my heart to go and start anew.
Very few people from my past are with me.
Most seem to have disappeared somehow...no longer a part of the life.
The ones with me now love me for just me.
Not because of what I have or don't have...or what I can or can't do for them...or because it is convenient or it looks good.
They are with me because they choose to be.
I choose to be with them as well.

So I have been going back and forth between my new home and my old home.
Cleaning things up.
Disposing of things.
Very slowly... for when I go back there it feels like I am swimming through molasses...it is obvious to me that the energy there is not longer at my vibration...
I am foggy and sleep a lot back there so it seems as if this cleaning up is taking forever.
What I really want is to be like Genie and just blink my eyes and have it all just magically disappear.
I don't want to even see it.
It feels like crap.
The energy attached to all those things old and stale.

But the good news is that I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am almost finished with my personal clean up.
I feel the lightness of the release already, often finding myself in very synchronistic circumstances which help me to get rid of things.
Even had extra cash flow come my way even though I did not expect it.

So why do I write of this today?
Because I know I am not the only one experiencing this.
As we all leave behind things, places and people that are no longer in alignment with us, there is all kinds of cleanup left behind.
It can be excruciatingly hard.
It can paralyze us, the monumental obstacle which comes from ending a life which is no longer us.

Emotionally it can drag us back into the past, memories of what was and sometimes the hidden longing within that it doesn't have to end...reliving the past,getting stuck in it...

Our minds meanwhile are trying to sort what is happening as we hear our hearts more and more and begin to do things which our mind thinks of as irrational...(like turning down money in exchange for inner peace...)
It wants us to remember the past, it wants us to get lost in what was, for there is security in what was, as opposed to the unknown.
It wants to plan for our future in a rational way, make sure we are SAFE and SECURE.
It doesn't want to let go...making us question ourselves at every turn...keeping us trapped in thoughts which keep us from hearing our hearts...

What I do?
I constantly remind myself that I am more than just this body, this experience.
I accept that I created this situation and only I can get me out of it.
And I take time out for myself.
Quiet time for just me...A lot of time.
Lots of salted baths.
Lots of walks on the beach.
Mother Earth is just waiting to connect with me and help me heal.
Nothing raises my vibration faster and helps me clear and center in my heart, than being out in nature.
Lots of fresh juice and fresh distilled water too.
So my body gets clear.

I baby myself because I know that I am ending things and it is extremely difficult to end one life and start a new one.
I tell myself I am doing the best I can within my abilities.
I give myself a break.
I ask for my light family to help guide me and support me and help me to see the signs which point in the right direction,
the direction of being in the flow within my heart.
Connected to my Source.
I expect miracles to help me along the way.

And most importantly I remember I am Love and I am so Loved.
A fractal of my Creator that has set out from being One with All in a quest to experience and learn.
To experience ALL life has to offer,here at this moment, as a separate consciousness(yet connected), during this great shift of ages.
My heart says it is time to clean my mess up.
To what extent I do that is up to me.
But I do know I am not alone in the clean up.
I have never been alone...

Shine bright my light family.
Thank you for sharing this path with me.
We are all cleaning up together in all different kinds of ways, in all different levels,even if we don't know it.
The energies of the Light from our Creator are helping us to clean up...so it's gonna happen,want it or not...asleep or awake...
I have no doubt of it, because when all is said and done...

I believe we are the Light of our Creator , and we can achieve anything we set out to do.

We just have to believe in ourselves.
We need to remember that we can...

In Light and Love
: )
marie