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The Shower Prophecies — Wisdom on a Bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Soap : Exclusive Renegade Health Article
Grab your reading glasses, cause Dr. Bronner’s kicking some serious knowledge in your bathroom.
A few months ago, I took the Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle out of the shower with me, dried it off, and started to read…
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably skimmed the bottle from time to time while taking your shower or bath. My challenge is that I was never able to get past the “All-One or None!”
proclamations or the “health-meat-salt-soap-tape” to read more than a few seconds.
This day, on which I clearly had nothing better to do, I thought I’d write a parody article poking fun at all the crazy things written on the label (again, see: “health-meat-salt-soap-tape), but instead I unexpectedly found some incredibly wise teachings.
Now, from all accounts I’ve heard and seen, Dr. Bronner was a very smart and very nutty man (and my article was originally going to highlight his eccentricities), but now after finding myself inspired by the words I’ve read, I’m going to share the 12 life’s lessons I’ve found on this incredibly loquacious soap bottle label written by this modern day sage.
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #1: Embrace Work Hard and Discipline
“A great teacher, must first, be a self-supporting hardworker be, like Alesen – Baeck – Carnegie – Cousteau – Hammer – Leibman – Paine – Pike – Sanger – Spinoza – Strauss – Szasz – Wilke – Yadin – Zamenhof, or he’ll turn our greatest teaching into spades, to bury our people!”
“All freedom loving children hate the word “Discipline!” Yet, self-discipline is the key to freedom! Without it, even the most brilliant head remains useless, ineffective, small! How basic is self-discipline? Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, found Arctic Timberwolves litter abandoned, the mother probably killed: ‘So, we put the timberwolf pups with out Dachshund mother, since she had only one pup of her own. She raised the timberwolves. Within three months, they were twice as large as their foster mother. Now when we threw a chunk of raw meat into the kennel, the pups attacked it ravenously, like timberwolves, but one grunt from their Dachshund mother, and they jumped back, stood still like a soldier at attention waiting obediently until the Daschund mother has eaten her fill, then with a loving grunt she gave them permission to go back and eat!’ That illustration of love-discipline was amazing; but any wild animal bird or bee, has that self-discipline down to a “T,” or there is no survival!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #2: Be Brave
“To dream the Impossible dream! To reach that unreachable star! ’til All-One, All-One we are! To fight that unbeatable foe! To go where the brave dare not go! To right the unrightable wrong! To love pure, chaste, from afar! To try when your arms are too weary! ‘Til All-One, All-One we are! For this is my goal! To reach that unreachable star. no matter how hopeless, no matter how far! To fight for the right without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause! For I know that if I follow this glorious quest, my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I’m laid to my rest! And I know that the world will be better for this, that one main, tortured, blinded, covered with scars, still strove with his last ounce of courage, to reach that unreachable star ’til united All-One, All-One we are!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #3: Eat Healthy
“2nd, every body in God’s tremendous Universe must eat or there is no body! To shine on, eat must even the sun, consuming every second 4 million metric ton! To shine on, eat must even the sun!”
“Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Balanced food for body-mind-soul-spirit is our medicine!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #4: Work Together
“3rd, every ton of good food requires teamwork in harmony with God’s law, timing-team-work-wisdom-power-mercy-love can reap 6 million more fruit above.”
“The trouble is that the wrong people are always the most energetic, united & intense, dividing the hardworker to die in self-defense! That fact alone brings Hitlers & Stalins to power & that fact will only change when we teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith, lighting-like, 6 billion strong & we’re All-One! All-One! All-One!”
“Beavers, by family teamwork, stay alive! Building dams, surviving the toughest winters without any welfare help to enjoy life!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #5: Be True to Yourself
“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you! If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, and yet make allowance for their doubting too! If you can wait and not be tired of waiting or being lied about, don’t deal in lies! Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, and yet don’t look too good nor talk too wise! If you can dream and not make dreams your master! If you can think and not make thoughts your aim! If you can meet with triumph or disaster and treat those two imposters just the same! If you can bear to hear the full-truth you have spoken twisted by crooks to make a trap for fools!
Or watch the things that you have given your life to broken, and stoop to build them up again with worn out tools! If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it at one turn of pitch or toss! And lose and start again at your beginnings and never breath a word about your loss! If you can force your heart, your nerve, your sinew, to serve you long after they are gone! And so hold on although there is nothing left within you except that voice that says to them “Hold on! Hold on!” If you can talk to crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings and not lose that common touch! If neither loving friend nor enemy can hurt you; if all men count with you, but none too much! If you can work hard to teach each unforgiving minute the Moral ABC, mason Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free, come hell, hate, ban, you’ll enjoy God’s spaceship Earth & do great work within it; & which is more my son, you’ll be man! A man!”
“99. ‘An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot! It will succeed where diplomacy may fail! It will always unite the Human race where all else divides All-One-God-Faith!’”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #6: Be a Leader
“7th: Each swallow works hard to be perfect pilot-provider-builder-trainer-teacher-lover-mate, no half-true hate! So, each day like a bird, perfect thyself first! Have courage and smile my friend. Think and act 10 years ahead!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #7: Have Faith
“The 1st law of God’s tremendous Universe is order! Absolute all-embracing, ever-evolving, ever-recreating, ever-loving order! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #8: Make the World a Better Place
“4th, any man raising 600 fruit trees in harmony with God’s law, timing-teamwork-wisdom-power-mercy-love can reap 6 million more fruit above, above! Exceptions? Eternal? Absolute”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #9: Share Your Wisdom with Others
“4th: Only hard work – God’s law can save us, but if we teach only our clan? We’re all hated then! So, we must teach friend & enemy, the whole Human race, the full-truth, hard-work, free speech, press-&-profitsharing Moral ABC’s All-One-God-Faith, lightning-like, 6 Billion strong, we’re All-One or none!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #10: Be a Little Nuts
“8th: The mark of the mature man is his ability to work brave, teaching all, every slave, hot to replace coal-oil-gas-mineral-nuclear, unemployed-inflation, welfare-waste-war with Essene Birth-Control for very girl, Swiss 6000 year Universal Military Training UMT for full-employment, raising 1 trillion Isreal-system treas, 2 million Dutch dikes, 3 Greek mirror-solars, 4 Hannibal windpower plants, 76 million Planetemples teaching All-One-God-Faith, Austrian music, Babylon roof-gardens, California rain forests, China-bikes, Cartha-UMT, Catspaw sandals, compost tree, CO2 bomber, the Moral ABC, cattle-lemon-Esperanto. Finn-jails, gasohol, German solar-Zeppelins, Health-meat-salt-soap-tape, jojoba-aloevera-chia-ginseng-garlic, Kibbutz, Nature Friends, patents, Swiss economy, Town-Without-Toothache, Patrick Henry teaches PHt’s of USA-USSR H20 co-op, with 76 million battery-banks, powering every car-factory-farm-home-Milorganite-monorail!”
(Huh?)
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #11: Embrace Love
“Love is like a willful bird, do you want it? It flies away! Yet, when you least expect its bliss, it turns around and it’s here to stay!”
“12th: Over-population destroys God’s spaceship Earth, unless Essene controls limit all birth! Who else by God gave man this sensuous passion. Love that can spark mere dust to life! Beauty in our Eternal Father’s fashion! Poetry, uniting All-One, brave, all life! Who else by God can make Love last 1 trillion years of sweet eternities! For when conquered after years of toil-sweat-blood, Love can strike like greased lightning sent by God to spark mere dust to intense blazing fire and create new Love-faith-hope-guts-strength, as only God inspire!”
Dr. Bronner’s Lesson #12: We are All One!
“95: ‘I’ve never stooped so low as to hate any man! For I’ve learned that in the long run, all mankind needs-wants-loves whatever good work you’ve done! Regardless of your race, color, nationality or religion!’ Booker T. Washington, born a slave!”
“American democratic President Wilson, 1917, replaced Marxism by Lenin. “We are not a nation of classes, races, minority or pressure groups! Anybody trading on our race color, nationality or religious is not yet American, does not yet deserve to enjoy the liberties of the Stars & Stripes!”
(Extra quote is Dr. Bronner’s punctuation, not mine!)
There you have it, 12 life lessons from a crazy, old soap-maker.
Makes you wonder just how crazy he really was. Maybe we’re all nuts and he’s the one who had it right.
Anyway, today, why not get out there and live these principles like you never have before. What have you got to lose? Let the wisdom of a soap bottle change the way you live your life and teach others just the same. Who knows, you may just end up the “perfect pilot-provider-builder-trainer-teacher-lover-mate.”
We’re All-One! All-One or None! Eternal exceptions? None!
(But don’t eat the health-meat-salt-soap-tape.)
If you want to read more, head on over here.
Your Question of the Day: Have you ever read the entire Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle?
Extra Credit:
Watch the trailer for the Dr. Bronner documentary…
Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox
Click here if you want to watch the whole thing: http://magicsoapbox.com/doc/
Live Awesome!
Kev
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