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Even as a child I always felt I was here for a reason. I have felt this way all my life. Not in a bragging way, not in a way that made me more than other people...never felt self important. It was this deep knowing from within me that would keep me going in some of the darkest times of my life...that it was all happening for a reason. And every time I made it through those hard times, it would strengthen my belief that I was here for a purpose. Never had any idea what that purpose was, however. Always figured it would play itself out. Seemed to be always waiting to see.

This knowing within me,of me having a purpose, did not seem to affect my self esteem in a positive manner however. In fact I have to say that growing up was extremely rough. Very dark. A lot of self loathing. Self hate.

I was taller than most boys growing up and therefore became embarrassed of my height. Instead of standing tall, I learned to slump. I also developed earlier and more than my school mates... My body became embarrasing because I felt different than other girls. I began to hate my body as well. In my eyes I looked funny and ugly. I never felt I fit in.

I was very smart but very unconventional in my learning style. I was extremely ADD and somewhere along the line I was labeled as being very smart but unable to sit still, to focus. A waste of intelligence sort to speak. I learned to not raise my hand and question what I was being taught. I believed my self to not be smart at all. Eventually I believed myself to be dumb.

So I hated the way I looked and I thought I was stupid.

So I come now to this stage in my life. At 48, fully aware of all the untruths that I believed about myself. Finally seeing myself for the first time...with my eyes of my soul. The beauty that is truly me.

Self esteem is how one sees oneself in life. But just because you see yourself in a light of low self esteem, it does not mean that is who you are. When as a child I saw myself as ugly, it does not mean that I am. Or dumb. Or any of those things which made me feel lacking somehow...less than. I am none of those things,for I am an aspect of creation. An individual expression of Source. I just could not see my own light, but it has been there all along.

The Light that is within us can never be put out. Yes,it can dimmed due to the dirt around it, but at the core it always shines bright. And that core is our heart. For our heart is our direct connection to our Source. We don't need anyone else to help us to connect. We have it all within us.

So next time I find myself falling back,thinking low thoughts about myself or others, I will remember that within my heart resides the Light that is creation. The energy of the original Source. And it is as beautiful as all of us.

And those old thoughts of low self esteem? They are just that: old thoughts. No longer serving my highest good. No longer needed in my new life. Going to let those thoughts, that old programming needs to go.

I think that is exactly what we are all doing. Letting all go to make room for the new. Each of us individually taking a stand and vowing to help make room for the new by each shining our individual,beautiful Light.

It is time.

Sharing from my heart with Light and Love ; ) marie