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As   channeled by Julie Miller

The last time we spoke we discussed empathy and compassion in regards to   communication. We will be continuing this theme of discussion today.

It is common in many cultures throughout your vast Earthly realm that when   something goes unexpectedly wrong, someone must be accountable and held   responsible. This is an incredible misrepresentation of the thought of what   responsibility is. Dear ones please make a point to truly understand – true   and real responsibility has little to do with who or what is the blame or   fault but how to react in a responsible manner. But it is evident from what   we see that many dear souls are confused and cannot distinctly comprehend   blame or fault.

What we are able to see is your reaction of frustration when something goes   wrong, all the new ways of being and living can suddenly go out the window   because you find yourself within an uncontrollable urge to point fingers   regarding the fault and who is to blame of the situation or circumstance. We   see the reason why there is this fallback to point fingers and to blame and   that is basically for relief from the frustration that the experience caused.   When you allow yourself to vent your strong feelings, you think the vent will   bring you peace of mind and you will feel better. We see this as a temporary   relief – venting provides no lasting relief or a peaceful mind.

From our observations we see this too often. Blaming anyone no matter how big   or small their contribution was to the current dilemma becomes easier for   some dear souls than accepting the responsibility for any actions created   they may have created that helped cause the situation to not work out as   planned. There does come a time dear ones when blaming others can no longer   be your scapegoat, take the courageous step and take responsibility for your   actions, allow your mind, body, heart and spirit to be liberated by your   honesty and truthfulness.

Try to look at a situation dear ones from a distance, see it unravel through   the process that brings you to the point where you suddenly feel the   necessity to blame. You feel yourself becoming possibly frustrated, maybe   even a little embarrassed…the ego gets a hold of these strong feelings and   puts up a defense and that little protective voice of the Ego tries to   encourage you to pass the fault onto another. This is when you look even   closer and discover where the true fault lies and more often-than-not it is a   shared responsibility. When working together on a task or project, all people   involved have a responsibility to bring that project into successful   completion. Not one person is at fault when something goes wrong. Working   together, effectively communicating will help remove any disharmony that   blaming can create and instill a deeper sense of calm and satisfaction.   During each stage you are in on your journey, wherever you are on this   enlightening path, you are in charge of your choices. You are the one to   choose to be happy even if you wake up sore and tired. Realize dear ones,   every time blame is thrown into a relationship of any kind this negative   behaviour causes separateness and can easily create fear, anger and pain.

There are many dear souls that share your beautiful Earth that often complain   about this or that, some more than others – realize that complaining is   related to blame, the only difference is that complaining is a less focuses   form. Yes it is well understood that you wish to liberate yourself from some   of the many powerful and often destructive emotions that are often expressed   during moments of frustration. The most effective and efficient way to deal   with your upset is to learn to be more compassionate when you communicate.

Make a point to clearly observe the situation before you evaluate or comment.   No matter what it is you are feeling that is a result of the situation,   experience these feelings through acknowledgement – they are yours. Look at   the situation in a non-biased way and see the value that still exists, look   closely to what it is that makes you feel your needs are not being met and   what is it that is drives you, what you are passionate about that may have   become shattered as a result of the situation going in a unexpected   direction. Make a conscious effort to understand your feelings before you   express them.

You will be faced with other difficult circumstances and each one you   successful move from helps prepare you for the next one. You gain great   insight and solutions that will come back to serve you more than once   providing you may have to change your solution a bit to fit the purpose.   Exercising control in a mindful manner that doesn’t include blame will become   a natural part of your life. Be always conscious of your words, actions,   thoughts and feelings – the energy you radiate is felt by many, sometimes   more than you realize.

Another area that can use compassionate communication is when you speak   directly and bluntly to someone. You feel compelled to tell someone what is   one your mind and the words often used are full of very strong feelings that   have the power to crush’s confidence. Learning to choose assertive words that   are non-hurtful, non-condemning or show fault can become an important step in   your growth. It is important to be truthful and honest yet it is crucial to   mindful of your tone of voice and choice of words. Once your words are   spoken, they cannot be erased no matter how hard the dear one receiving your   words may try. Growth doesn’t happen when harsh and debilitating words are   used, growth then is thwarted and any development comes to a sudden halt.

We encourage each of you to take responsibility for yourself, at every stage   of your journey. This also means when there is a disturbance in your peace of   mind, figure out where and when this disruption began, instead of overlooking   the obvious and passing blame. Sometimes talking to the ones who you feel is   to blame but in a way you are asking to help solve the error of the situation   is a great way to include compassion in your communication that will help   bring relief and balance back into your mindset.

When there is a time dear ones for you to share your honest and truthful   opinion we support you to honestly own your own interpretation, what it is   you think is being projected, and what your personal judgement is as well as   your feelings that do not include the other person or persons involved – you   are simply and effectively sharing. You are not targeting any one person, you   are speaking objectively yet adding a bit of yourself as well, “This is what   I think…., or “What I feel that has contributed to our project not working   out is ….”.  These are some examples that can include you asking what   they think. Because more than one person is involved they too will have their   own conclusions and together, being mindful and respectful you can come up   with a way to correct whatever the error may be. Compassionate communication   is always possible; you only have to make the choice dear ones.

When you make a point to include the other people involved, you might be   surprised and amazed with just how interested the other people are at   helping. When you add compassion and respect into your challenges progress is   much more swift and amiable. We know there are some areas that could be more   problematic than others and each situation is filled with unique trials and   tribulations. Learning how to solve your challenges peacefully will require a   certain amount of patience, but then again patience is required in every   aspect of your life journey.

We will continue to encourage and support each of you to use every upset and   disturbance that crosses your path as an opportunity for great growth and   change. All that you learned from all your yesterdays is helping you balance   today. And what you gather today helps to create your tomorrows. When you   share with another of an experience or how you are thinking in regards to a   specific topic both of you are learning. Sometimes what we see when a person   tells of an experience, during the telling they learn something more – a   deeper Aha is learned and felt. Sometimes it takes sharing verbally or even   written with another in order to bring a fuller depth of understanding. The   one that you choose to share with may only trigger this knowing by a word or   phrase but suddenly you gain inspiration and the other person also learns   from listening.

When you state what it is you want, make a point dear ones to state these in   a positive manner. All that you don’t want is up to you to make different. If   you don’t want a messy house then you already know what must be done. If you   have been ill, or your physical body is aging and your strength is not like   it used to be then we will guide you to ask for a little help. We know asking   for help can be very difficult but you will surprised if you put a little   faith into the asking, Hope very likely will share the moment that will bring   you to the support and help you need to fulfill what it is you are wanting.

When you express what it is you want always be willing to hear a NO. Each of   you are given Free Will to make choices. A normal part of your life is making   requests of others, maybe you request one of your children to take the   garbage out, it is not a demand, you are asking them. You compassionately   thank them for their help and they appreciate being greeted with a thank you.   When you make requests of anyone it is important to respond compassionately.   When someone refuses to meet a request what often results is a demand. Often   we see people who have become use to getting their way and can demand what   was asked to be done. Anger often is a result and resentment a reaction on   who you are stressing the demand. Sometimes demands work, but the one   answering to your demand will not feel kindly or respectful towards you; they   may react with their own use of words as a form of retaliation and distance   themselves from you as a result. No one likes to feel forced. Kindness is   always a better way of accomplishing your wants and needs.

Any pain that is felt dear ones from any form of communication is due to   having expectations, and sometimes these expectations can be quite high. Be   conscious of your expectations in your situations. Become aware when these   expectations begin to cause pain and disharmony. At that point you are faced   with more choices and one choice is changing the level of expectation. Learn   as well to re-center yourself through grounding techniques that work best for   you. They can be quick and very effective when applied in full faith and   trust in the method you choose.

Remember dear ones, if you truly want to be happy make an effort to not judge   another person’s desires, needs or even their own expectations if they reveal   them to you; furthermore don’t be too quick to judge your own. Each of you   brings value into all your endeavours. When you make a point to communicate   more effectively you will help create a closer connection that brings a   winning attitude for all involved.

We observe often that the happiest of people are the ones that are not overly   fixated on one thing. They are open-minded and open-hearted. These happy   people are flexible and discover pleasure from many sources and experiences   and they rejoice in the ones they have not yet discovered.

Each of you are encouraged to be happy and accept one another’s desires and   needs without being required to do anything more than accept. What is   important is that your feelings, your wants and needs are well understood,   and ultimately your feelings are secondary if you really think about it.   Remain connected through compassionate communication that is derived from   love and respect for each other. Allow yourself to live and to love with an   open heart, and through such freedom receive the benefits of compassionate   empowerment and communication.

I AM Ascended Master, El Morya through Julie Miller