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Hello friends.
I would like to speak with you today about a topic that perhaps many of us can relate to. Perhaps you are a former radical or dreamer or revolutionary who settled down into an office job, or settled for a stereotypical kind of life.
You know what I mean. Way back in the day you may have thought about all the ways you would change the world and make things better, how you had so many ideas. But of course, you were weird, and at the time, not respected by your peers.
But over time, as you may have had enough run ins with the law to be scared of the consequences, or seen what has happened to other radicals, you began to lose hope and faith, and slowly gave up. Now you will settle for a wife, 2 and a half kids, a white picket fence, a two story house, a dog and a nice lawn mower.
You normaled out. You became integrated. But in the process, you lost a part of yourself. You feel it. You could have been a warrior, you could have traveled many nations. You could have inspired people...you could have inspired yourself.
Now...you see where your life is heading. Things become predictable. Your intellectual mindset is useful to corporate and you slowly get herded into the office careers. Soon you must spend so much of your time thinking about office work that you come back and are too tired to even think about anything else. You simply want to mellow out, simmer down, tune out, and repeat the next day.
But sometimes...sometimes, you catch yourself in the mirror. The real you, staring at yourself right in the mirror, ashamed and disgusted at what you have begun.
No; the you looking at your self is not the you which is disgusting. It is the real, core, you: the you which you could have and always wanted to be. And you gave it all up, and threw it all away. You see your faded youth, your sad frown, your collar and your expensive tie, worn like a leash and a noose.
Oh, but you know you aren't alone. Somewhere out there, you know there are a million other sad fucks just like you. And you know this because they were right there with you in the heyday of the internet and its insanity. Now they've got money and acquaintances, but too much soul to not know better. You know there's a million other former idealists, radicals, thinkers, dreamers, and warriors. But they gave in too. Because hey, everybody does it. And now? They can barely think or dream, and what they can think or dream about is so meek and mediocre. Even worse is that they are brutally aware of this mediocrity.
But time passes longer. You hit your forty's, your fifty's. You realize that death is soon upon you. Your most potential years are passed, and you spent giving into greed, lust, and anger.
Maybe...Maybe this person is me. Maybe I'm just 20.
Maybe I realize how much I've lost.
Maybe it's time I leave.
Maybe it's time I explore.
Maybe it's time I become conscious once again.
---END
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