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Today I lost my wallet.
My passport was inside it.
(For some reason I feel like I should carry it with me, and so I do.)

It is amazing how quickly my mind started to run away with me.
It went into the what if? programming of fear.

What if the person who found it decided to go on a Christmas shopping spree?
What if my passport made it into the wrong hands?
What if they stole my money?
What if I didn't get it back?
What if they stole my identity?

Fear very quickly reared its ugly head from deep within me.
I felt it building , like a coiled snake about to strike.
I started to plan my day tomorrow, full of hassle.
Go to the bank.
Call passport office...etc,etc...
My mind was racing!

It amazes me now looking back upon it, how quickly I became a victim in my mind.

And then I stopped myself.
All of the sudden I became aware of what was happening and I stopped my descent.
The clarity of the awareness is really surprising.
Like I took control of myself.
It isn't like my higher self stepped in, it is like it blossomed within me.
Like it is now within me, hanging around in there waiting to remind me of "things".

This is something new.

Immediately I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and imagined my heart.
Centered.
I told myself I would find my wallet.
But if I didn't then it was for a reason.
Either way, the experience was set up by me to test myself somehow...
For a reason.
I accepted the situation and stayed in my heart, out of fear.

And just because I didn't understand it, didn't mean I wouldn't.
I just needed to not get caught up in worry.

So I kept doing what I was doing.
I went to the movies with my daughter.
She payed since I had no money...
Had a great time.
Driving home I relaxed.

And all of a sudden in my mind I saw it in the drawer back home.
And I remembered how it got there.
I called home and sure enough there it was.
In a place where I rarely would put my wallet.
But yesterday while rushing I did.
And then forgot.
Completely.

Being in fear today made me forget.
Until this new me from within reminded me how to remember.
After all I lived it, I should remember right?
It is my life.
It is like my brain forgot what I did yesterday,(must mean I am doing a good job of staying in the now...), but the clarity within
me helped me to access a memory backup system of sorts.
Or my own akashic record...
This is a new skill I think.

Anyways, this "voice of reason" that took control today was very secure and peaceful and centered.
A new more centered me.
Maybe this experience happened so that I could experience this new me...

Either way if this is the results of my last download, that blahness and fog I was in was worth every penny.
Because it did not feel like my HS "stepped in", like other times before.
Maybe the vibration of my body is getting closer to the vibration of my HS and therefore the jump between myselves is not as much.
Not as drastic, therefore it doesn't feel like I am standing beside myself.
It is within me, more anchored somehow.
Meeting more in the middle.

It feels like it was within me and just blossomed.
Like the light dimmer was calibrated up or something.
Much smoother transition.
Very peaceful.

It did surprise me how quickly I became a victim in my mind though.
Thank goodness that it happened.
That fear was in there lurking, glad I could experience it so I could release it.

I feel I am getting a better understanding of my world now and how to go about in it.
Does that make sense?
Like I might be able to function better in this world that I thought I would.
Afterall these last three years have made me into quite the hermit...the last year especially.

Yesterday a solution to a problem came to me without me knowing how.
Like an encyclopedia inside my head opened to the right page and I just knew what to do.
I know others have experienced the same in the last couple of days.
We must have also had an encyclopedia downloaded...lol!

So next time I find myself in fear I will take a deep breath.
Close my eyes and connect to my heart.
There is no fear in there at all.
Just love.
And it feels so good to love and be loved, does it not?
And I much rather feel love than fear anyday.
So I am hanging out in my heart.
Best place to be.

Thank you my Light family.
You are all so beautiful to me.
My love to all.
In Light and Love
: )
Marie