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FIELD NOTES – MY FAMILY

By Kathy Vik on the auspicious 11-11-13

www.deeplyawake.tumblr.com

Yes, I continue to write my novel, and yes, it's really is going well, thank you. I think you are going to like it a lot.

Sitting here thinking about this risk, I have to tell you, it's sort of a big one, I think.

I have a theory, you see. It is more than a theory. It is an understanding, a knowing, a cosmology, and, here's the thing.

I think it makes all good sense. That's trivializing it, really. Let me explain.

I was born, it felt, with a longing. A homesickness that I couldn't shake. A weird heart/head/body ache that was pulling you and pushing you someplace, many places, actually, a force you could never say no to, learned to obey, learned to recognize,even when being crushed by the hard, steel, gray shoulder of your cultural norm.

Your ache, depending on where you live, might have been less than mine, but see, there we go, right into my theory.

So anyway, I realized that there might be a certain section of people who would read this and feel convinced I am possessed by something they cannot recognize, and so fear, and thus label evil or pagan or any number of inflammatory labels, like throwing rocks at a rhinoceros.

And that's a group who reads it and thinks it's some sort of psychopathology, and it is they, I think, I feel something very sharp, and it is contempt. These that the folks who have just enough good judgment to see that this stuff I see and am aware of and think might actually be a good thing, but it stirs up something uncomfortable, and this discomfort is not seen as self generated, it is, instead blamed on the other, who then is appropriate, in their mind, to insult, and inflict as much suffering on as they can take, because, after all, they are inferior.

It is a twisted thing,and it is all over these days, on the news, in people's families.

This is, also, part of the theory.

You see, if this is psychopathology, I ask you to find the chink. What I know is whole, it is benevolent, it is fluid and it never argues with itself. It is wisdom and kindness, appropriateness and good humor, tenderness, more than I would have expected, and, actually more belly laughs per day, anymore, than I can count. A lot of things strike me funny anymore.

It is a knowing, and it comes from, to be honest with you, as honest as I have ever been, it comes from the longing so many of us walk with. A longing that just never went away, and when we turned and did our best to block it out, it got my attention, anyway, by putting me in serious car crashes and od's. Trying the hardest to fit in almost killed me, and it took getting on my knees and walking through an arid valley, eighteen years when it was so dark I just couldn't see, and then, all at once, it seemed, the lights went on.

I looked back, after a time, at my former life very differently than I once did. I could see, all along the way, teachers of such high magnitude, great minds who not only sheltered me but tenderly and sometimes forcefully taught me about morals, ethics, and energy management when in company. What the point of all of this is, all of this under the hood of a dumpy woman, a simple woman, with little money, an extraordinary son?

And so, why talk about this on this most auspicious day, the 11-11 of our first year here, as more whole human beings, as something else again?

Well, that's the point. My theory.

I believe that this is a planet of ascension. Ascension is the way of evolution, and after this first bit, I will not be calling it ascension again. I think the word needs to be abandoned.

I believe there are a little under 400,000 of us, and I had always tended to think that there were fa finite numbers of starters, same age, all over the world. That is my theory's question, really. I know we are all over the world, in very specific geographic coordinates, and many of us get moved, quite mysteriously and sometimes abruptly, from place to place, holding energy for whole grids. I know of this. My friend Diane is one such.

And we came in with our plates,many of us, piled high with things we come to see a lot of our friends did not encounter. Some of us are able to do pretty much anything well, and are perpetually bored, always vaguely feeling like we are spinning our wheels, even when, or maybe especially when, things got quiet.

You see, my theory is that those days, especially before, say 1989, and please know, right here, if you're into dates, you can']t rely on me. I have no real concept of time, never had, and it makes writing job applications a bitch. I feel like it is some sort of learning disability, and I should get SSDI for it, or at least a little leeway. I forget a lot, and need to be reminded of stuff. I pay bills late, and I can't remember names. There;s stuff that sort of misfires, I guess, so I'm just as human as they come, and no different than you, and maybe your thing is not being able do something else, my weird is just a different color than yours. Everybody has them.

So, my theory is that there is a family of ancient ones who are here to be first in the shift. To soften up the energy, to clear for the collective, to take in as much as we could of this and that and the other, so that we would be believable when we told people a few things about how we see things. Just like you, dude. Just like you. In many ways, when you get a little deeper, that's where things get weird.

So, if I worry about the haters who are going to label us, then I think I am standing very firmly in the old land. I know what I am, and when I meet one of you, we always both know, aren't you finding that to be true? I have met more family the last month than I have for many, many years.

And this is because, you guys, we did it.

See, I want this book to go out to the ones who are willing to read it, but also, to the ones who react with snarls and maybe ever disbelief. I think disbelief is a very valid stance, and I don't think bad thought if you just can't believe it. Believe me, I went through that, too.

But this energy, it is of the mother, they mama, and it is through her, who soothes all, but inhabits some, then, from that blessed relief that, I guess, is called balance, everything becomes benevolent, and things soften.

And I write this to those who also know these things. Not to anyone else, and it is important to say it this way, clearly, for all of us, a declaration of sorts, something that has been singing I n my veins now for two days, a sort of super-charged internal active peace. That's the best way to put it. Active peace. Being on-line, like when something analog goes digital.

And in my theory, which is just my heart song, you guys are her with me. I have met some, and some who are just now catching up, but many of us have not felt it necessary to examine it like me. I have two masters of love in my life, real saints, living love, and neither of them look so deeply into this stuff, are not as well versed in as much as I am, and have no interest in new age philosophy. Three friends, actually, one that actually sort of snarls at it. But these humans are selfless. They are benevolent. Some generally, some more specifically, but they are benevolence itself. And then, as I look up, I cannot see a human being in my mind's eye who has not known compassion, and no one in this sea of humanity has not been compassionate, many at great risk.

And then, it is easy to see my beloved in every person's face, and to see the joke in everything, and to see myself winking at me in every conversation.

Is this madness? I say it is bliss, and this is my proclamation, for all of us, if you want. If it doesn't fit, toss it and never return, no skin off my nose. It's not for you, then, and that's all.

Here it is.

On this day, the 11:11 of this, our first year as conscious co-creators, I speak to my heart, and say what it wishes to bless me with.

This is my time. I came to this reality for this moment, and from this day forward I am one with my creator.

Today is the day I have chosen to enjoy the fruitful fact of the creator's eyes being mine, my heart is my creators, and my creator is my heart.

I am a benevolent god, kind in my ways, honorable in my dealings, honest to all, always to self, aware, and willing to expand, always, awareness, never saying no to the all, knowing a no is a tug, and tugs are best dealt with in good, in divine, timing.

I trust myself above all from this day forward. No more with quibbling about identity and style issues. All are their own creator. Those who wish to judge are avoiding their puzzle, and that is all. Let them say what they will. It really is irrelevant.

And today it is said, for all to hear, for the all to appreciate, from this time on, it is safe to be in the open. It is time to trust that we can modulate with others. We are beginning to feel the blend. The resistance is gone, and it is fine to come out.

This insistent thought, just seeing things so neutrally, undefendedly, but with good common sense, and not being troubled with the times I am moved to say things I, at one time, would never have given myself permission to say, oh this has been grand, and it is only getting better, after today.

I declare recollection of all the teachings I have had part in, I declare that I can now access any conversation I have ever had, with anyone, at any “time,” and am saying to my amnesia, to my but more, to my higher perspective, it is safe to come here now and be with me. Let me see through your eyes, always. Give me more light, always. Give me as much as I can handle, I say. My arms are outstretched and I am naked on that hillside I have seen so many times, and I am just now realizing it is a nice spring day. The winds have come and gone. And I have a vague recollection of once being a cold and wet and lonely lighthouse. I was all alone in the worst storm I've encountered.

But this is odd, now. I remember that, and it's easy to begin to think those memories are real, but it just isn't possible now. Because it doesn’t really apply, does it?

I mean, I am seeing, knowing myself to be an almost leonine woman, naked and luxuriating under a grove of apple trees in a gentle summer day. I am. And so easily does this image morph, for me, into something else, something more. And I am that something more. I am a physical creature, yes, and an exalted one, from this day forward.

And I understand this is strictly due to DNA, intent and plan. I am only one of so very very many. My family.

I don't know what my future holds, and so, I write, because I figure it is best to just keep putting messages in bottles, and maybe that's just me, and maybe it's not that bad a thing.

This theory extends to the multiverses, but it starts inside a human heart who hears a gong go off, and the lights start coming on, and, then things are just different. It's a tumultuous journey for the first group, and it's this popping up and out of the karma and agreements we used to have, and walking into this new life, that I wish to close with.

I once write an essay entitled, “How I Think Ascension Will Play Out”. I had strong words of almost admonishment for those holding the belief that ET's were going to come down here and intervene on our behalf, that early in the game. I explained about the first and only rule of the game: it is a free will zone. The human is sovereign. Instead, I think there will be people switching on, all over the world. One by one, people will just start lighting up, maybe they go away for education, maybe it happens in their dreams, but one by one, they become have what others can see are the attributes of ascended masters, that celebration.

And there is our ascended master, getting onto the Hampden ramp to I25, spilling coffee onto her ascended master uniform pants, his Versace suit, his shorts. In all sorts of cars, and uniforms, and bodies, all over the world.

What would it mean to you, I asked myself, if I could have access, on the phone, to someone who was consistent kind, non judgmental, wise, balanced, funny and deep and serious and surprisingly candid? How would that change me? Would I want someone I could have coffee with to tell me the theories he holds, and would it be ok if none of it even seemed to make much sense to me, but they felt so good, and were always calm, and never got mad, and sometimes would cry, but usually, they just couldn't get ruffled? They saw deeply into anything at all, but could be as light as a feather?

What would that mean to me? How could my life change if I had really good counsel?

That's what we are. We are a family of folks who have gotten there, and there is a relative term, one some of us have exposed. You get there any number of ways, and we are in many religions, many walks of life. It is important to honor each other. Recognize each other. And know that at no time are we physically alone. We are one with the beloved now, and see ourselves as we, many of us. I like the feeling of multiplicity, and forget about it still, when too linear. It's a focus, I think.

So I guess, for me, I am proclaiming this real for me, and that's is why I equivocated as long as I did. I just want it made plain that I'm aware some people misbehave when they are too out of synch with this energy. Everything is so much different.

I will close on that note, a love letter on the 11:11. I am the kind who, when things get weird, sort of tilty and odd, you know, when things in your life get extreme, when things change? I like that. Always have. I don't mind structure, and I thrive in it, but it is hard for me to maintain, and really hard to attain at all, at times. I like it when things are weird. I'll make it clear. I'm a nurse by trade, and there are only a few items when someone in front of me was trying to die, and didn't want to. So the extremity begins, and things, suddenly, get real, real good. Things are somehow complete, time moves much differently there, and people behave differently there too. Everyone goes calm. Everyone's focus goes to the one mind, then, in some ways, and teams work as one, doing much, much different things, but to one purpose, only one.

And that's what I like. And then, there is resolution, and we all break out into the bitching, ungrateful, fatigued people we were previously.

That is how it used to be for me. I liked that other place. I never go out looking for it, it's an organic entity you get to crawl into from time to time, but, see, it's that tilty energy that I have been feeling!

I feel tilty all the time, but, see, to me, tilty means balanced. I like not knowing what to expect, and reading the news and being surprised, genuinely surprised, at how things are progressing. It's crazy town out there, for a lot of people. Things are changing for many people, and it's my theory that this is not getting better, this is now a larger population getting used to what we, many of us, have studied since childhood. I have. Have you?

Field Notes is for anyone, everyone, who has a question about this new energy, but only, and always, from my perspective. I am no one's guru, and I am writing this still unrealized, undiscovered.

I have no idea who'd want to read this first draft, but I know, just as I know with Deeply Awake, and Patrick Hears Voices, this needs to be written. There has to be a place for people like me to go.

See, that's the weird part.

The lights go on, and certain things become self evident, and then, one by one, through the blogs, I've had confirmation after confirmation. It has been an echo chamber, reading my counselors on line, nearly always mirroring something I'd just encountered, or, at times, introducing heart-melting new ideas that I recognize as true.

And we have the same beliefs, and they are really beyond argument, a few things that just are, and sure, there are lots of spins of it, but keep winnowing, eliminating those who just feel wrong for you, and there you can see, there are voices from all over the world, all individually knowing the same things. Consistently. And they act in a consistent manner. And you just know them.

That's family. And we have awakened. We did a while ago, and I know I am being a bit presumptuous with the “We” stuff, but, I know I am not the only one. I will not accept that I am some lone madwoman. It is not so, and I wish to beat that awful naysayer into submission, really. I know that belies too strong emotion, telling me there is something I need to come to peace with, but for today, let's as one, just admit that this stuff is real, and it is finally safe to come out, the veil is thin, the curtain separating us turned transparent overnight,and we can see, feel, hear, even touch each other now. WE don;t need the internet, though it's nice.

Some are repelled by those life and death scenarios, and fall apart in a code. Some have to leave the room. And then there are those who come by to breathe in that energy, and those I have great disdain for, those who love, flock, to the act. I am one who can meld with others and perform as one for a common goal. There are many like us, and there are some who now live in that state.

Call it what you like. I call it Evolution, and it is the every same energy that is unbalancing many that is helping us breathe better, see longer, and love more. Out time has come. Welcome to my second gift to you, my family, the Shining Ones, the Ancient Ones, the ones who will be the seedlings to the new world, doing once again what we have done before, evolving.

From this perspective, I leave you with a tantalizing thought, one to puzzle on until nest time.

Lee Carroll/Kryon's group says there is a group about 350,000, the originals, so to speak, the ones who have come from beyond, I guess, the seeders, the first group, here on earth, and we are awakening to take the project home, to ignite the planet. Bashar says that of the 7 billion people on earth, there is but a group of 300,000 originators, the original ones, and everyone is under these oversouls, their creations.

My teachers explained that there is always a first group, a first wave, when a planet ascends. The rebels, the specialists, the odd ones, the ones that have had exceptionally tricky lives, the open ones, and they start the ball rolling. Then things catch on and the second wave is activated. And then they all help the third wave. And those who still cannot move off the old dime,they choose to opt out of the experiment.

That this is the way of it, planetary ascension, ascended biological evolution, frequency shift, merging with the one, whatever you wind up calling it, it's all the same. I guess there are a lot of ways to explain the story, many myths and questions that come up, but this is, in essence the theory.

It scared me, at first, especially the way Bashar told it, but it is making more and more sense, now. I know it has to do with willingness and not holiness, it has nothing to do with worth in anyone's eyes but self's, knowing and loving and trusting self, where the all dwells, and there really is no lid on this genie bottle. Once you know that, what else is there to know? If you get there in a pew or on a rug or in a meditation retreat or in kirtan, on a mountaintop of on a walk, does it matter all that much? Let us see the beloved in everyone and just leave it at that, I think. That's the way to go, I think, when all is said and done.

And still, this need to tell you all about it.

I'll leave it there for today, my forever friends, my family.