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8 Ways to Practice Self-Love
Self-love is about knowing and honoring your needs, wants and wishes. It’s about understanding your inner world, including your thoughts and feelings. It’s about being kind and compassionate with yourself. Self-love is a spirit you carry, and apply to everything in your life. It is a daily practice consisting of nourishing and joyful activities. Here are eight ideas for practicing self-love in the New Year.
Respecting and honoring your needs includes knowing what’s happening with your body. But we often stop paying attention, especially when we’re pressed for time. To remind you, set an alarm on your phone for every hour or two hours, every day.
When it dings, ask yourself how you’re feeling and how you can respond to your body. For instance, if you’re tense, you might give yourself a massage or stretch your body. If you’re agitated, you might take a few deep breaths, meditate or walk for 10 minutes.
Whether you sit down every day or week, journaling is a valuable way to access and process your thoughts and feelings. It can be as simple as answering, “Right now I am feeling…” or “Right now I am thinking…”
In her book, Journalution: Journaling to Awaken Your Inner Voice, Heal Your Life and Manifest Your Dreams, Sandy Grason suggests exploring your emotions by listing all the things that trigger a specific emotion.
For instance, if you’re angry, write down, “I feel angry,” and, for two minutes, list all the things in your life that make you angry.
Knowing and living your dreams is a great act of self-love. Put away the shoulds, and consider what you really love to do. What activities bring you joy? What are your aspirations? What would you do for free? What did you love as a child? You don’t have to overhaul your career to live your dreams. You can channel your dreams into your days, whether it’s penning a poem before work or painting in the evenings.
Yoga is a safe and gentle way to reconnect with your body and your inner world. It also helps to cultivate kindness and acceptance. Practicing yoga isn’t about manipulating your body into a certain size. It’s about meeting your body and yourself where you are – and enjoying the movement and magic of your body.
Try a class at a nearby yoga studio, or find resources online. Anna Guest-Jelley, the founder of Curvy Yoga, has many excellent free resources on her website.
Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships. As author Rosie Molinary writes in her book, Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance, “There is never a day where it is better to be in a relationship that undermines, undercuts, manipulates, abuses or takes advantage of us than it is to be …in a relationship with ourselves that’s filled with self-love.”
But if you’re a people pleaser, setting and sustaining boundaries can seem overwhelming, or worse, impossible. So commit to creating one boundary, and seeing it through. Start small. And remember, as Molinary writes, “Being good, as it turns out, isn’t about pleasing. Being good is about being just to others while also being true to yourself.”
That harsh inner voice that criticizes your body or your intellect or anything else about you isn’t being realistic or telling it like it is. It’s spewing lies. Your own voice is kind, supportive and loving. So whenever the inner critic strikes, recognize that these self-critical statements are untrue, and replace them with something truly realistic, helpful or compassionate.
Many of us feel uncomfortable praising ourselves or even acknowledging anything remotely positive. But there’s nothing arrogant about appreciating yourself. (Don’t you appreciate your loved ones for their qualities?) Write a letter acknowledging your accomplishments, efforts and traits. If this is tough for you, put yourself in a friend’s shoes. What positive things would they say about you? Whenever you start to feel crummy, come back to this note.
Court yourself like you would a lover. What places do you love to visit? What activities put a smile on your face? What nourishes your soul? Spend time by yourself doing the things that make you happiest. In fact, go to your calendar right now, and schedule several dates this month. Every day self-love gives us an opportunity to tune into our needs and desires, and respond to them with care and compassion. It reminds us that we’re beautiful human beings, who make mistakes and try our best.
Just like we love our family and friends unconditionally, we can learn to love ourselves without requirements or shoulds, one step and supportive perspective at a time.
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