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For the past 10 years my partner and I have gone through a very tough spiritual process with both mystical as well as very nasty experiences. Our regular lives were taken away from us long ago. Same with family and friends. This process started like thunder and lightning. We did not do anything for it nor did we have any spiritual background. Also our jobs and ways to bring in money were taken away from us one by one. No matter what we do and try it never goes anywhere or is blocked. We have a force at work in our lives that interacts with us on a daily basis that can be nasty but also friendly. We have seen things appear out of nowhere, we can see the scripting of those around us and everything looks fake and not real (illusions). Especially our finances have been hit hard as well as our ability to take care of ourselves. For the past 10 years we have had to rely on donations and help from new agers and other spiritual people to keep going. We have lived in several countries, 26 cities and over 60 places. Every time we have to move there is always one place available or in several cases nothing was there and we ended up homeless at least 8 times during this period.

We have tried everything one can possibly imagine but to no avail. Nothing seems to make a difference. 

Now we are already $1,500 behind on rent and will be kicked out on March 12th resulting in being homeless once again with no way of ever getting out of it again. It appears that we have moved out of our character role into observer status and when we experience things it feels like we are the observer and the observed at the same time. We feel more out of our bodies then when we were in our character role. 

Our minds are usually empty and we cannot really think of the past. Like it's all become mush. We don't identify with our given names at all anymore. We also have seen people suddenly change voices and say things that were completely out of character for them. 

People have called us many names from avatar to narasimha, to two witnesses from the bible etc. which has only added to the confusion. 

It seems like we have a few pieces of the puzzle but not the whole picture. It feels like we have been brought back to the baby stages where no ego defenses are left. One priest told us we had abandoned the old self. We have had some very strange scripting. We have had people tell us that we have expanded beyond anyone else in this world but at the end of the day we still need to pay our bills and that has been a persistent problem for us as jobs are blocked, online work we have tried to do is blocked etc. It is like our lives are being regulated a to z or at least the ones of those around us so we have observed there is no free will. Also we have observed that thoughts don't create anything. We have also noticed that all beliefs are a trap to keep you spinning your wheel (therefore the word belief contains the word LIE, beLIEfs). It feels like we are in this world but not of this world. This force in our lives dictates what happens and what doesn't, when or where we move, where we rent, how and when we get money in if at all, whether we have a roof over our heads or whether we are homeless. We have told several new agers about our experiences and it really scared them when they heard our stories. We have changed a lot in the past 10 years but everything around us has remained pretty much the same. We have sensory indications/physical symptoms as well as a result of this spiritual process which has made it much more difficult to function in this world. 

It feels like we have been in a void for a long time and very isolated by this force. 

 

If you know of anyone who can help with donations that would be appreciated. Unless we come up with $1,500 dollars by March 12th we will be homeless again in the cold etc.  Our paypal address is: beyondformandmind@gmx.com

 

PS. this posting has been approved by Chris and any and all donations are welcome.